Fenrir Day eight

Emotional upheaval– The emotions that churn inside waiting for a moment to break free, that is also Fenris.

This will be today’s topic. These as always are my personal thoughts and take on Fenrir/Fenris. My personal thoughts, feelings, working with him. Mine, no one else has them as far as I know. So mine. Yes mine. No one elses.

Emotional upheaval. Yes that is part of what he is. Why do I believe that? Simple after surviving on rage, despair, anger, depression, and revenge fueling him. He is released(no one knows how the great wolf is freed). After gaining victory over the one who was the conductor of the orchestra of his pain. What did he have to live fore? He gotten his revenge. But what happens after that fact?

Here is where He would have to do his own soul searching. Discover what he is worth to himself. His anger his rage have been quelled but now what does he do with his life? Not that in the stories he has time to truly ponder them before he meets his ending as well.

Yet I sit here and ponder with Him trying to help him figure out what He is supposed to do with himself. He knows he can destroy things, that is his job. He understands why that is scary. He is starting to understand his chaining. It still angers him but he is starting to understand.

I remind him that was because the one who is supposed to balance him was not born yet. He always gives me an odd look when I say that too him.

You see to me Fenrir is missing his other half. He is missing the one who would heal the destruction that he creates. The one who would pick up the pieces and make them whole. This other half does not have to be a lover or even female. This person could be just his partner in crime. “Here this area is destroyed to make way for what you need to do.” The partner would go though and heal the wounds that Fenrir created.

He looked at me when I told him that and sighed. He does not know if such a person exists. I told him give it time. Mayhap they do not know their power yet. He just growls at me.

So I help him heal his emotional wounds. I even go though his emotions with him and than wonder why I am such a mess.

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Fenrir day 7

These are my personal thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

Today i think another story for Himself. He seems to like the idea.

~*~*~*~*~

I look over at my cousin. It is another day. I know Uncle is pleased to see him. Much like them all I hope the cycle is broken. I think it is though. I am here or was born I am not going to let my cousins get hurt. I am not going to let my family get destroyed. It is not going to happen. It is not needed.

What is truly funny about our woods that we live in. It marches with the Iron Woods. We share a border with those that are our friends and foes. Depending on the mood of their leaders. Though I confess they seem unable to find Uncle’s house. I think that has a lot to do with her.

Fenrir agrees with me he thinks it has to do with his mother the Warrior Queen Angrboda. She has taught us both to hunt. She has also taught Vali how to hunt as well. She seems to think that Narvi will not be bound for the forest, he is bound for the ocean. Which oddly enough we have a border with. The ocean is just over a hill on the south of us. We find Narvi there a lot playing in the tide pools and with his little toy boat.

So Fenrir and I go into the woods to hunt. We sniff the air. Looking for the scent of a deer or two. Maybe today we will get an elk. Alls I know is we need to get more than one for Fenrir is a hungry one. Though he does try to modulate his eating. I am wondering if that is a curse on him. I need to research. Sometimes I think She feels that too.

So we move thought  the woods like one body or even like a wolf pack. Something Vali pointed out to Uncle. Uncle smiled and told Vali not to say that when his Uncle Thor was present. Vali gave his Dad a look I understood why. I am sure my father has plans for my marriage or what not that do not include my erstwhile cousin. Handsome enough as he is.

Fenrir moves with a wolfish grace. His dark hair braided. His skin darker than mine by a shade or two. He always looks a bit tan to me. Fenrir sniffs the air and smiles. The air carries the scent of the elk to us. So we move catching site of the elk heard moving. There where three stragglers behind the heard. As one we raised our bows letting an arrow off. I got one. Fenrir got one and the last one I think he got, we both shot it mind you but Fenrir got the killing blow.

I was finding my cousin was always just a tiny bit better than me at somethings. Though he teases me that he could never be as good as I was being a woman. I rolled my eyes at him. I understood being a man. I can shift my shape much like Uncle can.

So we field gutted them and Fenrir ate the gutted inners but the things Sygins would want to make sausages. That made me smile. Fenrir carried two of them back. I carried one. Both of us could have carried all three on our own. We share the same strength. Though I do not think my cousin knows that.

At home we both skin them as they hang up blood dripping out of them being caught into large pails. I take the two skins from Fenrir he was quicker than I was. His skinning was quite good. Though he did make me feel slow. I took the skins and started the curing process. That would go on for a few days. And by the time a few weeks were done we have silky elk hides to do something with.

Sygins looked at the three elk. She than looked at us. “Good job. Two will have to be preserved, one we will eat today.”

We all smile at the thought of that.

“Go get Narvi you two.” Uncle asked us. “I know you are not in charge of him. Vali is out hunting a bit too and.” his voice trailed off. We both sighed and went to go fetch our cousin/brother from his date with the sea. The sea honestly seemed to love my cousin to bits. He never drowned. There was always a sea creature to help him. It was amazing.

So as we created the hill to watch the sea for a moment. We both took in a deep breathe and marveled at how the forest and sea smelled so delicious together. We finished walking down the hill. Fenrir grabbed my hand to hold it. he gave it a squeeze. He smiled.

He smiled a lot more lately or so my Uncle claimed. We walked the beach holding hands looking for Narvi. I spotted him he was playing with his boat in a pool of the sea. I mean that it was a pool, not a tide pool but a pool like area that the sea seemed to create just for Narvi and his boat to play in.

We come up to him. He picks up his boat and smiles widely at us. “Going back now?” He asked us. I let go of Fenrir’s hand in order to pick him up. He was so light weight. I worried about him some times, most of the time, make that all of the time.

“You know he can walk.” Fenrir pointed out to me as we walked back to the cabin. I was carrying an exhausted Narvi. Who was resting his head on my collar bone.

“I think Fenrir is jealous.” Narvi’s small voice chimed in. “He always glares when ever I climb in your lap or cuddle with you.”

I look over at Fenrir I detected a slight change of colouring but nothing that was a note worthy blush along his skin. Unlike mine super pale you embarrass me I will be the same colour as my red curly hair. “I do not think he is.”

“I do.”

I felt Fenrir glare over in our general direction. I am sure he was glaring at Narvi and not me. The weight of his glare was heavy. I just smiled down at Narvi. “I think I will cuddle with whom ever I want and who is brave enough to do so.” I informed them both.

Narvi giggled and Fenrir sighed and I found my self in a half hug the rest of the walk home with Narvi giggling in my arms,

Fenris day six

As always these are my personal thoughts. PERSONAL thoughts and no one elses. This is my journal and I am solo but for Them.

Fenris as I ponder his name so many thoughts come to me. Sometimes I think he and I spend too much time in each other’s emotional space than it what would be good to us both. I look back and wonder if the rage I felt in the past of being used by people was mine or if it was really him. He and I are tied together though bonds of love and affection.

He finds love an odd thing. He much like most does not understand it. Love is an odd feeling that has so many levels. The levels that love have have never been plumbed to their deepest depths.  I am not even sure if the gods that represent love understand it’s depths.

I love my angry cousin very deeply. I understand his rage. I understand his anger. I understand his hurt. I understand the questioning of the whys. I understand feeling betrayed. I understand feeling alone in the world. I understand being misunderstood, even hated. I understand him all too well.

My cousin has great power you know. He eats and destroys things. He takes things that were stagnate and destroys them. He destroys them so that the very brave and not so brave can rebuild and make their lives better. Though they do not know that.

I am going to share a small story for you. Something  I remember of the far distant past. It might be a memory. It could be a fantasy. Or it might just be a dream walk vision. I am unsure of it but here it is.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I hear a grunt as I tread with great care though the forest. I am hunting deer at the moment. The one I shot ran this way. I than heard a snap and the sounds of someone eating. I frowned thinking I lost my dinner and food for the next day for my Uncle’s family. I was trying to help. Dad was gone and he would usually hunt for them.

I continue to go toward that sound of something eating. I tread to the edge of a clearing and I see him. Uncle had told me that his son Fenrir was bound somewhere in the woods. Leave it to me to find him, the great wolf. I stand there staring at him eating the dear I had wounded. I noted he was savoring it like he had not had food in a while. He stops eating and sniffs the air.

“You might as well come out.” The great wolf said, “why do you smell like my father?”

I walked out of the woods and looked up at him. “Dad and I live in a cabin next to Uncle. Aunt Sygins’ kept me alive with her milk.”

“Oh you are his child that makes you my cousin. Why should I not eat you?” He looks at me. “I am still hungry.”

“We are cousins and I just gave you a deer, even if it was unintentional.”

His eyes take in my quiver of arrows noting their feathers. My feathers was purple, Uncle would tease me about my vanity for I choose a shade of purple that needed to be dyed as such. He eyed the arrow sticking out of the deer it matched. He nodded as well as he could chained so.

“You should not be chained still.”

He looks at me. “I am chained again. Memory has chained me here.” He rattled them at me. I can feel his anger at the world and himself.

I walk forward knowing if he wanted to he could just gobble me up. He was known to swallow up whole people. He allowed me to touch him. I touched the side of his muzzle. His black fur was so soft.

“You look like a bit of the night sky just sitting here.” He gave me this odd look as he allowed me to inspect him. He was right it was the chains memory that had gotten him. He broken them once but they held him fast again. “If you where freed would you come back with me to the cabin to eat with Uncle and the rest of us?”

“You mean father?” He tilted his great wolfen head at me. Then he sniffed me. Butting me away from his bonds for the moment. I found my self suddenly under a great paw. He examined me. “Where do you get this curly red hair from. Your Father is red bearded most of the time and his hair is not red though it can be depending on his mood. Your hair is constant red. Your eyes are violet and you seem quite stong. I know I took you by surprise and you are not struggling?” He seemed surprised by this.

“If you where going to eat me I’d already be in your belly.” I look up at him from my space on the ground. “My red hair truly comes from both sides of the family which is why I ended up with it. Thought he curly comes from Mum’s side.”

He lifts his paw off me. Bumping me with his nose as I stand up causing me to almost loose my balance.

“Let us get these chains off permanently.” I know he does not believe I can. I do not blame him. I walk to where each manacle is that holds him and touch it muttering a few choice words to them. They fall right off. He steps gingerly away from them. I pick them up and place them in my back pack. “I think I will have my Aunt Brigid make these into a dagger for you in your human form.”

“How do you know I have one of those?” He eyed me in his huge wolf form. Nose bumping me again until I grab a hold of his snout to say upright.

“A feeling plus your Daddy is a shapeshifter would not surprise me if his sons all have that gift.”

He gave me this look as he steps back. He shrinks and changes becoming a man. His hair is long black and would be wild if it was not braided. His dark bottomless eyes look at him. His skin is light but weathered and it is only because he chooses to look that way. I can see his strength as he moves. He walks up to me I feel even more in danger than I did with him in his wolf form. Though the danger here is far different. He is dressed for hunting much like I am. Though I feel that I am still on the menu to eat but now I am not sure what sort of eat I would be.

He smiles; his smile reminds me of Uncle. It is like he can read my thoughts as they flash though my eyes and who knows maybe he can.

“Let us hunt another deer cousin. Think you can hunt like a wolf pack hunts?” He teases me. I am wondering what else he is thinking for I know his senses are as good as mine are and I know what his current form is doing to me.

I nod to him and smile. “Let us hunt.” I pause and laugh at myself he winks at me surprising me with something I had forgotten to do.”

“It is fine Brannagh I was warned you might find me. Of course Dad left out your beauty.” He looked me over again. He smiled again. “Oh a blush let us hunt.”

So we hunted and brought back a deer. Uncle was happy to see it but his happiness expanded when he realized what else I brought back, his son. But that is a story memory for another day.

 

Fenris five

I am going to talk about two things today. One was written yesterday while it was till in my head. The other was written on the fifth of December. Both where planned out yesterday. So enjoy my thoughts. These are my PERSONAL practices and thoughts. I do not know if others share them. I do not need for others to share them. That matters not to me if they are a shared vision or a personal one. So here you all go. As far as I know this is a personal one.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was asked the other day how Fenrir could be Odin’s Grandson. According to my personal thoughts and dealings that is what They have told me. In other words it is my UPG, I do not know if others have these feels but I do. Loki and Thor are half brothers in my UPG. No this is not based on the comics. It is just something that has always felt correct to me. Their shared parent is Odin. Their Mothers are different which is why They are half-brothers. People can disagree if They with this is how They have presented Themselves to me and this is how I take Them. Which also means Thor is Uncle to all of Loki’s children.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was only going to talk about his different names today. So you get two treats my thoughts on blood and his names.

Fenrir (Old Norse: “fen-dweller”) this name other than Fenris I use a lot. This is also one of the more recognizable of the spellings of the Great Wolf’s name.Naming conventions aside. This name is almost a reference back to his Mother. Though She lived in the Iron Wood.

Fenrisúlfr (Old Norse: “Fenris wolf”) This of course is just naming of Himself as Himself. Which personally I think is lazy naming really. But it is a true naming for it is his name and what he is. Heck I think it is a lazy naming and I am the one with a physical body right now.

Hróðvitnir (Old Norse: “fame-wolf”) Well this name makes sense for He is infamous and everyone knows who he is.  Who his Father is. Who is Mother is. They even think they know what his future is. I think They decided that They should know better and not that the future is changeable. I also think that the cycle is Christian in origin and not really part of anything that they truly are.

Vánagandr (Old Norse: “the monster of the river Ván”) Well he is what humanity would call a monster. He is usually seen in wolf form. He makes a lot of jortans look tiny with how huge he grows.

Well that is all with names and naming. Another note. When you name something you give it shape. You even  gain some control in your own mind over naming of what was named or the knowing of that name. It did not mean that the person or thing that was named is controllable. Just means you know the name and recognize what it is.

Fenris Day One

Today is the first day of December of the Gregorian calender. I need to do some research on what our Norse people would have called it. I know our Celtic peoples called it the month of the Elder moon which started November 24.

Today is the first day I speak of Fenris the great wolf. In the ‘Lore TM’ he is the great destroyer.

I believe he is much more than that. My belief is that Fenris is destructive change. He is Nature’s anger at being destroyed for no reason. He is the part of us all that screams ‘ENOUGH’. He is a driving force of change, real true, not always good for you at the moment but good for you when the dust settles change. He tears apart what is bad for us. He eats what is bad for us for the world so we can all grow like he does.

He also represents to me great sadness. He is the darkest melancholy within the soul. He is the untamed wild that Nature is. He also represents resentment of those who chain down one for no real discernible reason. He is the building resentment of that chaining.

To me the chaining of Fenris represents Man taming the wilderness. Or the thought that they have now tamed the wilderness, which they really have not. For when the chains break we realize that mankind can never tame the wild. We only have the illusion that we have. The illusion is very thin at the best of times. The breaking of the chains represent the violence that Nature cannot be boxed, chained up, or tamed by us.

He is also strength beyond ours. That is also within us.

Humanity seems to forget that we are animals just like the rest. Within us is our own wolf like Fenris one that was chained. We need to friend this part of our self or we will be destroyed by the frenzied madness of the breaking. If we friend this side of ourselves we can set it free.

He takes revenge on those that have harmed him. He does not feel bad for doing so. These people dishonored him. He had done nothing. He was imprisoned by what he might do, not what he had done.

Fenris represents to be freedom taken by our own power. He broke his own chains. He decided no more of this. Than he went to take care of the ones who dared to chain him in the first place.

Fenris: Rage, Vengeance, Depression, Freedom, Will to Fight, Rage, Nature’s champion, Forceful change, Revenge, Emotions

I always hate saying my thoughts’, ‘what I think’. When it should be quite oblivious that these are my thoughts about him. I do not know if they are shared. They are my thoughts and you can think what you wish.

Sigyn’s day eighteen

Well sitting here waiting for my number to be called. Slow going. Today my thoughts turn toward Sigyn’s sons. I think I will do one today. One will be come the subject of the two mising day posts.

Today I want to ponder Vali. Sigyn’s eldest son. The one who would eventually accourding to lore who would be magiced and maddened into the form of a wolf and kill his brother than run off into the woods after. This is UPG so bare with me.

I see him as a young man in his mid-twenties. His hair shifts colour depending on his mood. I have felt the colours. Blonde, red, brown to black. His eyes to me are clear sky blue. He is tall, 6ft 6in.

I have felt that after being forced into the form of the wolf he ran off to the Iron Wood. Where She helped him return to himself.

He lacks people skills. He spends most of his time alone. His emotions are wild. He gets swept up in them. He will sweep you up in them as well.

He says he is a shifter like his father. He always loved the wolf form. The way it moves.

He loves his little brother and is greatful that Narvi is not angry about the death at his elder brother’s hand. He is very protective of his brother.

He much like his Mother has child and teen forms. Depends on what the person he is approuching or who is approuching him.

Well not sure what else to say about him. I will think about it and return to add more.

Sigyn’s Day 14

Herself has asked for me to write more on the little short story that I wrote for her. She wants a novel. I am like ok. So for the cast.

CAST

Red haired daughter child of Thor/Morrigan

Sigyn

Loki

Narvi

Vali

Fenris

Jormungand

Hella

Thor

Odin (and his ravens and wolves)

Brigid

Morrigan

Sif

Fraya

 

And that is all for now. I get the feeling I get to personify Them within the con finds of the story. So that is for her she wishes to have it written.

 

Story thought: Thor brings his daughter by the Morrigan to his brother to raise. Sif will not allow the child in the house she does not care that it was by contract between he two families before she was ever in the picture. She does not want to raise anyone else’s children. So the daughter comes to Loki and Sigyn to be raised with their boys. This is a coming of age story filled with everyday magic.

Sigyn’s Missing day Eight!

A group friend on facebook asked me to share this saying ti would go good with bread. I am sure it would go well with scones too! I was like sure I will share it. The URL is thus: http://www.simplebites.net/canning-101-freezer-jam-recipe-nectarine-raspberry-freezer-jam/

Yes I dragged and dropped the shared page that my friend shared with me. It is all here. You can follow the link to if you do nto believe me. I will be following her blog.

Canning 101: Freezer Jam (Recipe: Nectarine Raspberry Freezer Jam)

by on July 17, 2010
in Preserving · 33 Comments

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Written by Cheri of Kitchen Simplicity.

Freezer Jam is a great way to break into the preserving scene. The recipes are made in smaller batches, require little to no cooking (which gives them a fresher taste) and need no special canning equipment.

All you need to do is puree or mash some fruit, mix it with sugar and pectin and throw it in the freezer!
There are a several different options for making freezer jam:

  • It can be made with freezer jam pectin, which is simply mixed together with sugar and stirred directly into the mashed or pureed fruit.
  • You can use regular pectin by boiling it with water and stirring it into the sugar/fruit mixture.
  • In some recipes you can even omit the pectin because they are cooked long enough to thicken up such as this Last Minute Strawberry Jam or because the fruit itself contains pectin as the cranberries do in this Grapefruit Cranberry Marmalade. This makes an already easy project that much easier.

Whichever pectin you choose don’t be afraid to get creative with the fruit combinations you use, just follow the fruit/sugar/pectin ratios on the back of the box.

You can get really creative and add addition flavors such as vanilla, almond or maple like this Strawberry Maple Freezer Jam.

There’s no reason not to make your own jam when it’s this simple and the results are so delicious. Besides, you can’t get these endless combinations at your local grocery store!

Recipe: Nectarine Raspberry Freezer Jam

I prefer using nectarines over peaches in many recipes because there’s no need to peel their thin skin.

  • 3 nectarines, pitted and chopped
  • 2 cups raspberries
  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice
  • 4 cups sugar
  • 3/4 cup water
  • 1 (1-3/4oz) package powdered fruit pectin
  1. Puree nectarines and raspberries. Strain through a sieve to remove seeds.
  2. Add sugar and let sit 10 minutes.
  3. Stir water and pectin together in a small saucepan. Boil for 1 minute.
  4. Stir into fruit mixture for 2 minutes or until sugar is dissolved.
  5. Divide into storage container and allow to sit, sealed at room temperature until set (up to 24 hours).
  6. Store in the fridge for 3 weeks or in the freezer for 6 months.

Makes approximately: 5 cups

Sigyn’s day 12

A recipe for scones. She likes these treats. The Recipe is from Allrecipes.com http://allrecipes.com/recipe/simple-scones/ they got it from USA Weekend. Enjoy. I know she would enjoy making such things.

Simple Scones

Ingredients

Original recipe makes 8 scones

Directions

  1. Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position and preheat oven to 400 degrees.
  2. In a medium bowl, mix flour, 1/3 cup sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Grate butter into flour mixture on the large holes of a box grater; use your fingers to work in butter (mixture should resemble coarse meal), then stir in raisins.
  3. In a small bowl, whisk sour cream and egg until smooth.
  4. Using a fork, stir sour cream mixture into flour mixture until large dough clumps form. Use your hands to press the dough against the bowl into a ball. (The dough will be sticky in places, and there may not seem to be enough liquid at first, but as you press, the dough will come together.)
  5. Place on a lightly floured surface and pat into a 7- to 8-inch circle about 3/4-inch thick. Sprinkle with remaining 1 tsp. of sugar. Use a sharp knife to cut into 8 triangles; place on a cookie sheet (preferably lined with parchment paper), about 1 inch apart. Bake until golden, about 15 to 17 minutes. Cool for 5 minutes and serve warm or at room temperature.

Footnotes

  • Cranberry-Orange Scones
  • Follow the recipe for Simple Scones, adding a generous teaspoon of finely grated orange rind (zest) to the dry ingredients and substituting dried cranberries for the raisins.
  • Lemon-Blueberry Scones
  • Follow the recipe for Simple Scones, adding a generous teaspoon of finely grated lemon rind (zest) to the dry ingredients and substituting dried blueberries for the raisins.
  • Cherry-Almond Scones
  • Follow the recipe for Simple Scones, adding 1/2 tsp. almond extract to the sour cream mixture and substituting dried cherries for the raisins.
  • Copyright 2006 USA WEEKEND and columnist Pam Anderson. All rights reserved.