Fenrir day eleven

What I think of when I think of Fenrir. These are my personal thoughts now.

Fenrir is the wind blowing though your hair

Fenrir is a wolf’s lonely howl

Fenrir is the snapping of fire as it burn

Fenrir is the feeling deep within that will not give up

Fenrir is the feeling of healing of wounds that you though would never heal

Fenrir is pure rage

Fenrir is the mob whipped into a frenzy

Fenrir is what and whom he is.

Sigyn’s day 5 (I’ve got to get better about remember to post…)

I want to talk about one of Sigyn‘s greatest lessons: Loyalty. Here is a good spot to see how it is defined: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/loyalty

She is a loyal one. Truly loyal. She does not sway from her promises even when others wish her too. She stays. She remains. She endures. She watches. She cares. She loves. These are her words to me or at least the way I understood them.

I Am

I am what I am.

I am loyal.

I gave my word.

Why do you think I would break it.

Why do you think I’d dishonor myself, my husband, our families?

Just because you think my life would be easier!

No it would not.

Who would trust me than.

Oathbreaker I would be.

No I will stay.

I will give him what I can.

I will bear my wooden bowl and catch the poison.

A poison that should not be there at all.

You punished him enough.

You destroyed his children- all of them.

You destroyed my sons!

I am supposed to leave him for the ones who murdered my boys!

Never!

I will stay.

I will stay until the snake dies.

I will stay and give him what he needs.

I will watch my husband fall over the abyss.

I will watch him become what you feared.

He will become what you created.

So will his children.

You created this.

Enjoy what you have sown.

Leave me to my work.

My duty.

My beloved husband.

Leave.

Sigyn’s Day two (missed day :( )

Drip

Drip, drip, drip

Arms quiver

Bowel fills with each drop

Eyes watch, pain-filled maddened

Drip, drip, drip

Splash hands burning

Arms lower

filled to the brim

Bitting lower lip

Withdrawing

Screams fill the cave

Drip, drip, drip

Screams stop

Maddened eyes watch

Anger and pain mingle

Pride in how strong she was

Loving and scafriced

Drip, drip, drip

Knowing that it will fill

Drip

Knowing that she will leave

Drip

Knowing that the pain will sear

Drip

Until the chains are broken

Drip

Suddenly the head falls in the bowl

Looking at the bowl the snake head looks back

He is now sitting next to her

The bowl sits next to them

Drip, drip drip

Blood on his face

No one is there but the two of them

drip

Who killed the snake?

Drip

Loki 18

Today I think I will focus on Hel. She is one that people don’t seem to pay attention to. She plays and important role. She is a death goddess that takes care of the Norse Underworld- Helheim. This is her home. She gets all those that do not die in battle. She gets the ones that die of old age. The one’s that die from being sick. The ones that die from accidents. Anyone who did not die in battle goes to Hel’s realm.

Death Maiden

Deep in the metaphysical earth
You sit on your thorne
Over looking all that come to you
The dead, the honored dead
They come to your table
They stay in your realm
Until such a time that they are reborn
You know their stories
You sing their songs
History is something you remember
The history of each and every soul that has crossed your path
You know them better than they know themselves
You are their judge
Their jury
You read their verdict
You decide if they are worthy of rest
Or if they still have a lesson they need to learn before
They are reborn on the earth
You are as much a prisoner
As both your bothers
Though your prison is much larger than theirs
Death is who you are
Death is what you rule over
You can appear as a beautiful maiden
You can appear as a scary unearthly maiden
You are whom you are
You are Death

Loki day 15

Questions float across my mind
I as of yet have no answers
When I think I have the answer
I find only questions
More questions
I find that I am content
With this content because of you
You have taught me that the questions
Are more important than any answers

Loki Day 13

Picture is by: sandara

Loki’s Bindings did they happen? Did they not happen? Was it a completely made up story? Or a refection on other bound god mythos?  Those are thoughts that run though my head. than I think of the pain he went though. The pain Sygins went though. That they both endured that angers me. I mean that. Both of them were in pain. He was over the poison when she had to wander away to dump the poison. The poison dripped on his face. She endured the poison as well. As the bowel got more full of the poison it would drip, drizzle over the side and her hands would be burned with it. This poem is for Sygins.

Lifted

Growing heavy in my hands
I watch the serpent’s mouth salvate
The poison that it created was harsh
I could smell it burning the bowl in my hands
I look into the eyes of my beloved
The poison touches my hands
I almost drop the bowl
“Empty it love”
I look at him
Once again wishing that the bowl had no bottom
He sees the pain I know my eyes are showing
“Go.”
His voice has a note of command.
I leave quickly to dump the poison
I hear him scream out
My heart bleeds
We repeat this patten
Day in and day out
Until one day
I go to dump the poison
I hear nothing
No scream
I rush back in
Fearing the worst
He is still bound
The serpent his tormentor is gone
I walk over to him.
“I don’t know”
I set my bowl down
Fling myself on his chest
Weeping
“I love you.”
I look at him biding that my eyes speak
For I am at a loss of words

loki day 13

Eluded

Words they elude
They fall away
Shifting though my fingers
Unable to grasp them
Unable to make sene of them
My thoughts like the words
Do no flow
They do not move
I sit
I wonder
What is wrong with me
I stare at the blank page
It is taunting me
Words will not come
Nothing
I sigh frustrated
I wanted to write
Something great
Something for you
Yet nothing comes
No words to express
To describe
No words
To paint
Just no words

Loki day 11: Fenris

Monster

Monster, that is what they call you.
Those that do not know you well.
Kin-eater, that is what they call you.
Those that do not understand what you are.
Destroyer, that is what they call you.
Those that have no understanding of the cycle.
Yes you can be these things.
Are you just these things?
No you are more than those words.
More than what their hate can understand.
You are a brother.
You are a lover.
You are a fighter.
You are a defender.
You are family.
Yes you are dark.
No you are not evil.
Nor are you wholly good.
You are bound yet unbound.

This is a new poem for Fenris. He seems to enjoy me taking a stab at it again. They are inspiring me. I enjoy being inspired. I am thinking at the end of the month I might gather these up and see about publishing a book with these in it. Or a few books, just small things… I think we are here to reconnect with them. This is one way. There are others.

Day 10 Loki

Taking a small break from Loki to talk of one of his four sons; Fenris the wolf. I have a poem that is coming to mind for him. So I will write that first than my thoughts on Fenris.

Monsters

They say you are a monster
I just do not see it
You are a wolf
You are a man
You are yourself
You can find me anywhere
As we travel together
As we walk down that road on our journey together
I find myself talking to you
Telling you about my hopes
my dreams
You smile in your tall lean man form
Hugging me to you
We walk
Sitting in the edge of a lake
We look over it
Others see you as an evil monster
Some just see a monster that is neither good nor evil
A being that just is
I see you as my kin
You are my friend and my love
We sit and talk about dreams, hopes and asperations
We talk about power and who wants it
We talk about how people use words
How imporant words are to people
You smile again
I smile back
We are bound together

Fenris has been with me a long time. He is almost always next to me. He is a friend. A companion. A defender. He loves so deeply. Those that he gives his love to. He and I have ‘talked’ about Tyr. He bares no ill toward the other man. He is not angry with him at all. He loves Tyr. Though he has impressed upon me that he was at first bitterly angry at the betrayal by Tyr.

His binding happened before I was born. I used to go look at him. He said that surprised him. For he was so angry than. Yet here I was so small and tiny compared to him. He said I toddled over to him once when he stopped thrashing around to stand in front of him. He said he could tell I was scared but not really of him. He said that I touched what was binding him and I cried. He remembers laying down and letting me closer to him. He stole my lunch from me and I snuggled in his fur.

His fur has this musky cinnamon smell.

I remember hearing Uncle, “Oh that is where she toddled off too.” I felt myself lifted from Fenris and I opened my eyes and my Uncle stood there and looked at me and than his son. “You did nto eat her.” Fenris growled at him. Loki laughed. “I see you recognized her than.” He growled again. Loki looked down at me. “Time to go home Little Trouble, Dad is visiting today.” As Uncle walked away I looked over his shoulder and watched Fenris.

He watched me. I reached for him. He reached for me. One day I thought to myself he would be free. I hoped that by than I could defuse that anger he held in himself. He deserved better, they all deserve better. I will heal this. I will. Stubbornness runs in the family blood line. So I will do it, no matter what.