December thoughts

This December I am going to do my best to do a devotional month to Fenris. The thought just came to me. I think I will spend the month of December honoring Fenris with poetry, short shorties, mini stories and thoughts on Himself.

My new years thing is starting in December of this year. In a way though it was started in November. And going by my Celtic blood that is the new year. 🙂

November I have written a poem a day thus far. I have fallen flat on my nation novel writing month plan though. I did write poetry every day though.

So here is the plan.

December- on this blog poetry, mini stories, thoughts and short stories honoring Fenris. On my writer’s blog a mini story a day. (I think I will break up my story I was trying to write in November and post what I have on my writer’s blog and break it in bits, see if I can finish it that way.)

January- on this blog I will do a month for Narvi. Same stick as Fenris. On my writer’s blog more of the same every day work on poetry and stories.

February- Vali

March- Jorgumand

April- Hela

May- Brigid

June- Morrigan

July- Loki

August- Sigyn

September- Oghma

October- Thor

All of them will be honored with poetry, stories, thoughts and other things.

I will be working in my writer’s blog too. Building my skills and my audience.

 

Sigyn’s Day 14

Herself has asked for me to write more on the little short story that I wrote for her. She wants a novel. I am like ok. So for the cast.

CAST

Red haired daughter child of Thor/Morrigan

Sigyn

Loki

Narvi

Vali

Fenris

Jormungand

Hella

Thor

Odin (and his ravens and wolves)

Brigid

Morrigan

Sif

Fraya

 

And that is all for now. I get the feeling I get to personify Them within the con finds of the story. So that is for her she wishes to have it written.

 

Story thought: Thor brings his daughter by the Morrigan to his brother to raise. Sif will not allow the child in the house she does not care that it was by contract between he two families before she was ever in the picture. She does not want to raise anyone else’s children. So the daughter comes to Loki and Sigyn to be raised with their boys. This is a coming of age story filled with everyday magic.

Sigyn’s day 11

As I start my day I go though my head what it is that I need to do. I look over what it is I have within my home. I am content. I feel as if she is more content now that my home, my kitchen has what it needs within it. She worries about the feeding of the people she cares for so her worry was my own worry.

Wednesday I am going to cook something in her honor. I think I am going to bake bread. That always makes her happy. Might even try something different. A different kind of bread. I think I will let her choose. It will make her happy.

Today is a cleaning day before class. Than it is a run around get stuff done before class. So I think I will write her a quick something.

Hearth and Home

The fire crackles within the huge stone fireplace. The flames dance as a small blond woman checks the stew she is brewing. It is the larger pot than she usually uses. Loki had asked her to make more than normal for his other two sons and daughter and his second wife where showing up today. He wanted them to meet. Sigyn checked the bread in the oven build in the wall next to the fireplace. She smiles the bread looks like it is almost there.

She looks around her home. It looks beautiful and lived in. It is clean but does not look as if dirt is unwelcome within her home. She has two sons and a husband dirt is always trailing about in her home. She still had not figured out how they trailed dirt around the way they did. It was a great puzzle for she did not trail dirt why did they?

She started on the pies she wanted to cook next. The pie was a berry pie; blueberry, strawberry, raspberry. She smiled at it as she finished off the crust trapping the almost overflowing berries within the pie itself. She placed it to cook next to the bread that was almost done.

She once again checked the table. She had it set for who was coming plus a few plates. Loki’s family would sometimes come by unannounced during dinner and Sigyn wanted them to feel welcome and wanted and not like intruders. She felt a tugging on her skirt.

“They should be here soon.” She smiled down at the little red curly haired girl in her care. Her hair was wild and untamable no matter what her and Sigyn’s tried to get it to behave. “Maybe a braid?” The little girl nodded. Sigyn followed the little girl over to the chair and footstool. She sat in the chair and the girl sat on the foot stool. The two wrestled with the girl child’s hair. She got it to braid with much fussing and trying. The little girl stood and hugged her. They looked at each other and smiled.

“My hair gives me just as much trouble.” She smiled at her foster child. “My hair is just as curly.”

They both giggle and than sit for there really was noting to do until the guests arrived.

Ramblings on Devotion

Devotion,  de·vo·tion [dih-voh-shuhn] Show IPA noun

1.profound dedication; consecration.

2.earnest attachment to a cause, person, etc.

3.an assignment or appropriation to any purpose, cause, etc.: the devotion of one’s wealth and time to scientific advancement.

4.Often, devotions. Ecclesiastical . religious observance or worship; a form of prayer or worship for special use.
 
Origin:

1150–1200; Middle English devocioun  (< Anglo-French ) < Late Latin dēvōtiōn-  (stem of dēvōtiō ), equivalent to Latin dēvōt ( us ) ( see devote) + -iōn- -ion

pre·de·vo·tion, noun
su·per·de·vo·tion, noun


2.  zeal, ardor. See love.

 
From dictionary.com
 
*******
 
That is the real meaning of the word. The next thing you need to ask is what does it, devotion, mean to you? 
 
To me it means that I am observing and honoring those that I cannot see. I have realized as well after doing a bit of soul searching that I over stepped some things in my devotion.  I should not be asking those that I honor to bend the rules of chance to suit me. That is wrong of me. I feel a little stupid in essence in asking for the rules of chance to be bent for me. I will ask for forgiveness of that later. I wanted an easier way out of my current situation, I know I need to work hard to change my life I just did not want so much risk. Oh well Life is risk and to show Them that I believe in myself and I do listen to Them I will do this, I will not curry Their favor to make it easier for me. I will just make things happen for me. I will honor Them by taking control of my life, living it fully, and doing what I can to make things happen for me and for them. 

Devotion to me also means trial by fire. To commit to something and to go though and do it. To be a Kamikazi, to be the divine wind that brings forth it’s blessings from Them. To commit all the way to not be an almost, a should have been but to be the one who completes, the one who blazed, the one who did.

Random thought I needed to insert: Loki as the god of chance. Thor as a god of order. Working together they keep chaos at bay. When not working together they create chaos. I still need to work though this thought, just wanted to share it and put it out there.

Back to devotion, I have been pagan for a long time. I have been pagan before I knew what it meant. I have been devoted to figuring out how to put to practice how I feel about things. I do not take to anything easy. To commit myself fully is not something I do. I laugh when they say to do something for 30 days makes it an unbreakable habit. No so for me, there is nothing I cannot drop at any time and keep moving on. That kinda scares me. I am honestly not sure what it means.

I really want a teacher. Someone who can ride my ass and keep my moving forward. Keep my on course. I tend to wander off. “Oh shiny!!!” or “Oh furry” or “Oh that is shaped different” I distract too easy.
 
 For me to even have been on this path as long as I have is strange to me. I have been a pagan for so long. Yet I feel I know nothing. I do not understand simple thing. I do not understand greater things. Sometimes I feel so lost. Sometimes I read things that just make me want to give up.

I do not ‘see’ full colour scenes with sound. I get vague feelings. I get vague impressions. Sometimes someone will say my name a loud to get my attention. Yet I do my best to show devotion. I have my alters. I have them with the stuff people wanted on them. I light candles. I say prayers.

All I have is faith.

All I have is my devotion.

That is all I can give.
 
I always hope that that is enough. I worry sometimes that it is not enough. So I question my devotion. I question my feelings. I question myself.
 
Devotion is one of the hardest things ever.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Thor

Todays post is going to be my thoughts on Thor.

Thor he is my Dad that is what he tells me and I am not one to argue when I am claimed. They know better than I. That is part of their nature. I am spiritually Thor’s child, not physically in this life time but spiritually.

Dad wants me to work on being strong for me. I need to be strong. I need to stand up for myself. I need to learn to do that before it is too late.

I have learned from my childhood just to keep things to myself. Don’s show what is bothering me. So I don’t. It is something I need to work on. I am no one’s doormat. I do act that way some times.

Dad does not want me to be a doormat. He wants me to be a strong young woman. Which is par t of the reason why I was sent to Uncle to train, to learn. I hope I am learning.

So I am learning strength.

Loki day 9

I sit here and I think about Loki. He is misunderstood as a god. I sit here and think why I do not make excuses for his behavior in the lore. I do not white-wash it. I know he has done good and bad things. I accept that. He is a god of CHANGE.
Change is never easy nor is it ever welcome. People do not like change. I take that back they do not like change that supposedly ruins them. They like change when it gives them a boost up in the world. Not when it tears their world apart.
Who am I to judge him though? So I do not. He is what he is.
If you don’t want to work with Loki. Don’t. There is nothing that says you have to work with him. Just do not tell me that I cannot work with him. For I will flip you the bird from this side of my screen where you cannot see me doing so.
There is something that says when you hail Odin you hail Loki or Odin will not accept your hail. Funny how that works. Odin gets hailed a lot and Loki gets forgotten so Odin cannot accept that hail. Funny thought huh?
Heathens tend to white-wash the other gods. A lot of heathens tend to over look the blood-lines of their gods. A lot their gods have blood from the third tribe the etins. This is over looked. This is down played. Because they are the gods of good.
Who’s good? Ask yourself that. Who’s good?
Think about that. Give it a good long think.
This next poem is for the family, yes I consider them family. They call me their child. They claimed me as their own. I will not nay say Their choice. This one is for all of them.
Lost Within
Lost within myself I twist I turn.
I cannot find my way.
I stumble and fall to my knees.
Pushing myself back up I keep moving.
Blindly I move forward.
Blinking coming out of the tangled darkness.
I see dancing flames.
I stumble toward it.
The darkness that surrounds me tries to swallow the light I see.
I keep moving, that beacon of light beckons ahead of me.
Hope flares anew in my chest.
I move forward to finally reach the fires.
Warmth fills me.
I feel a hand on my shoulder.
A dark young man stand there with me.
I look over near him a few others stand with him.
They smile and wink at me.
“Welcome back cousin.”
The dark haired young man smiles.
We are always within you.
Remember that, when you start to feel lost.

Loki day 7

Words

What words to use to describe you?
Are there really any left?
Staring at the blank page.
It seems to mock my inability to form thoughts.
Mock my inability to string together my thoughts.
Like a lighting strike the words come.
Flowing with ease.
Coming together to form ideas.
Coming together to form pictures.
I am painting in words.
Creating wordscapes.

I know that you are one of the muses.
I know that you are holding the cup.
Word smith Loki.
Creative whirlwind Odin.
Spark of Inspiration Thor.
I thank you all for the help.
For this gift.
Words.
Creativity.
Inspiration.