Healing Wounds

Tonight I make the steps to heal the child-mother connection between myself and the Morrigan.

I said the prayer I wrote for her. I think I will write another one for her tonight. The mood calls for another prayer or two written for my mother, the Morrigan.

For the healing ceremony my cauldron, three candles (dark purple, light purple, grey), lavender and juniper berries. Lavender and juniper berries are burned in the cauldron on one of those self lighting charcoal discs. Two cards are out to represent her. Both are from the Goddesses and Sirens deck. Boudicca and Morgan le Fae.

Now waiting for the candles to burn down.

Walking down the path to heal our wounds. It will be hard but worth it.

Plug your ears and sing ‘Lalalala’

Another who needs to be reclaimed and not vilified.

O, Mourning Star. . .

Edit/Update** NICE. She didn’t use ‘the peacock angels’ name. That’s why I didn’t see it. She just called him ‘The Peacock Angel’. 

I have so much respect for this author now!

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And now I must express my disappointment. Not just with a book in particular which I am reading, but also with the pagan community at large. I’m noticing a repeat pattern and I have to admit it’s a tad insulting.

Background on this post. The latest volume I’ve picked up to add to my library is The Encyclopedia of Spirits, by Judika Illes. Now, let me say; so far, I’m a fan. Not only has Miss Illes, in both her previous works and in this latest one I happened to have picked up, mentioned the idea of Godspouses in actual decent length, all of her work, based on what research I’ve been able to do, seems to have solid foundation…

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Fenrir 18 (lost day)

My brain shut off apparently. I forgot to post for the last few days. Each day it gets harder to figure out what to post . I do enjoy the challenge. This is something I have been thinking about for a long time. Self-introspection time.

Fenrir has been with me longer than I can think of. Much like Dad and Uncle he has been with me forever. The others have lurked on the edges and are now coming out more. Which is good.

I have been pondering if Fenrir is the source of my temper and my anger at being mistreated by others. I think about that and the deep depression I hit sometimes but not enough to worry about it. I think on it. I was very temperamental back in the day. I mean fly off the handle red head rage and I do not have red hair. I find now a days things do anger me but they do not trigger that dangerous red rage. That rage that if I could channel it though the screen would have killed people dead. I ponder if I was feeling His anger at my mistreatment and not mine or even if it was a combo of both of us. No one likes being hurt, I think being close with him it made it larger for me. I mean larger.

Plus anger is supposed to go away after you emote it. Mine does not always go away. It sometimes lingers for days on end. It will seem to go down only to flair up.

So I ponder if a lot of my anger or the lingering of my anger is my closeness to Fenrir. I still have not come up with an answer personally yet. Though I have been told that it is possible it could be. If it is than so be it. Something I need to work on not letting him influence my rage, my anger and not getting caught up in his.

I have been caught up in His rage. Let me tell you that is some scary ass shit right there. I mean that too. Scary. His anger is can be on a loop which is broken repeat cycle which scares the crap out of a body. It is terrifying and hurts to see. Sometimes he allows you to touch him to bring him back to sanity or he grabs you up and takes you for a ride in the whirlwind that is his rage.

The ride is scary shit. His rage rides are not fun. His depression rides are not fun. Fenrir’s happy rides are fun.  He is not always happy and I cherish those times when he is.

And I still ponder where my anger/rage ends and his begins. When I figure that out I will get back to everyone who reads this blog about it.

Fenrir day 17

Sometimes Fenrir wants you to just let off steam in what every way is productive to you. For myself it is writing. I sometimes write when I am upset. Mostly so I can get the upset emotions out in a creative way. So I can rage and kill things without resorting to real world violence. Writing is for me like video games are for others. Helps me blow off steam. Helps me let go of negative emotions so I can breathe and be a better person.

So I wrote a violent story today to get out my anger. It is posted on my writer’s blog. It was very violent. It helped. I feel better or at least I am starting to feel better.

Fenrir thinks that is a wonderful thing. No one should carry anger within. It is not good for a body, anger is poison.

To the AFA, The Troth, and the Odinic Rite

This is needed. I wish people would listen to it. You cannot truly have one without the other.

"The Lokean"

[Author’s note: Please feel free to reblog this post, share it on other pages- or even take credit for it or add to it if you wish- my Yule wish is for it to make its way around the internet by Yuletide!]

…An old man came over from Scandinavia with his brother to seek his family in America.  Having no car, he walked from city to city, his face partially obscured with a wide-brimmed hat- and his brother became tan and dark in the Southern sun.  Two hounds at their feet as they traveled, up and down the Appalachian trail, through major cities, and through the smallest towns- looking for anybody who shared their blood.

On a particularly cold night, the travelers came upon a house in the woods. At this point he had walked long, his shoes had holes and his beard was unkempt- the hounds were thin with…

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Fenrir 15

I was supposed to post this yesterday. I was distracted.

Fenrir as Wrath.

I have this thought that Fenrir is Wrath unleashed. He is the pure rage that is within all. He is Wrath, the unswerving vengeance against the wrong that was committed against the self. The Wrath against the wrongs committed on our person by other’s hands.

He is the final outcome of when the one who is wronged has had enough. When the one who is wronged strikes back against those that have committed harm against the personal self, the soul of the person. He is all the pent up trunked up rage erupting out of where ever the person sat on it at.

He is what drives Wrath. He lives within all. He is the Beast within that most fear. The one we chain and when those chains break, something wonderful and not wonderful happens.

Supporting a Loved One Through PTSD or Panic Attacks

This needs to be shared and shared and reblogged again and again in both mundane blogs and spiritual ones.

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This cartoon (from Robot Hugs), in my opinion, illustrates the perfect way to handle every PTSD or anxiety episode. If I could actually live inside a blanket fort forever, I would.

Unfortunately, flashbacks, panic attacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, memories, triggers, and all those other lovely things that survivors have to live with don’t have the courtesy to always wait for blanket forts to be available.

It’s scary for the person experiencing the attack, but it’s also scary for any loved ones who are trying to comfort and support someone through an attack.

This post is for the supporters.

Often in the midst of the episode, the distressed person doesn’t necessarily have their full vocabulary and can’t articulate exactly what they need in that moment. Afterwards, they may avoid talking about it out of embarrassment, fear, or a desire to preserve the peacefulness of the present.

So how do you…

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Loki Carols Take 1

Songs for Uncle.

Peering off the Edge of Normal

What God is this
Who lay to rest
On Sigyn’s lap while weeping
Whom earthquakes herald in painful noise
With Serpent’s watch is keeping

So bring Him coffee, rum and sweets
Come humankind to honor Him
Laufey’s son your freedom brings
Let loving hearts enthrone Him

This, this is Loki my King
Whom giants guard and wights will sing
Haste, haste to bring him laud
My God, the Son of Laufey

O raise, raise a song on high
His mother sings a lullaby
Joy, oh joy for Loki is here
My God, the son of Laufey

This, this is Loki my King
Whom giants guard and wights will sing
Haste, haste to bring him laud
My God, the Son of Laufey

What God is this
Who lay to rest
On Sigyn’s lap while weeping
Whom earthquakes herald in painful noise
With Serpent’s watch is keeping

This, this is Loki my…

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